My Ideal Protein Blog

A site chronicaling the journey of one fat chick on the Ideal Protein diet

Almost Thought WP Had Deleted Me…. — September 19, 2016

Almost Thought WP Had Deleted Me….

But as it turns out, they have not. I have no real idea what I weigh now, but I’m guessing it’s more than the “disgusting 245” I talked about in my post about 7 months ago now.

It’s September 19, 2016, and I believe to my soul that I have now managed to gain back all 75 pounds that I so carefully and tearfully lost. I am now five years older, and it’s going to get harder all of the time to get this weight off. That’s why I have to start now. The last time I started in earnest was October of 2010. By Thanksgiving of that year I was wearing 2 sizes smaller than when I began.

I know the new thinking is just to be happy as who and how you are, but I cannot be happy when I pass by the glass window fronts her downtown and do a double-take mistaking my reflection for the Michelin tire man! I simply cannot go on like this. So I’m doing something drastic. Ideal Protein requires that you eschew all forms of artificial sweetner, diet pop, etc… as well as sugar and heavy fats. Heretofore one of the biggest obstacles to my getting back on the Ideal Protein bandwagon was the fact that I felt I had to have my coffee every morning. I cannot seem to manage to drink coffee without creamer, and, as my stomach has gotten more delicate as I’ve gotten older, I feel I need to have a little sugar to cut the acid. As such, I start out at a carb and protein deficit every morning. But no more.

Starting today, no more coffee. (Here in Seattle this is akin to saying “I’m just not gonna breathe anymore….”) I am taking caffeine pills to prevent the onset of any headaches, but getting down to a size where I feel beautiful again is more important to me than holding onto a bad habit. coffeewithdrawal

WTF? I Woke Up FAT AGAIN!!!!! — February 2, 2016

WTF? I Woke Up FAT AGAIN!!!!!

As the title implies, my weight has crept back up to frightening levels, and here it is a new year. Well, if you are game to start again with me, I am as well. I currently weight a whopping and disgusting 245 pounds, and, given the fact that at this time in 2011, I weighed in at a svelte 185, it’s frightening and disheartening. Four years ago, I made a determination to lose 75 pounds, and I did. Today, only 15 of those remain on the asses of other people, while 60 of them have found their way back to mine. Granted, I’ve been through a divorce, the leaving/losing of a job with a company I’d been with for 19 years, two bad job starts between then and now and then some….but not to despair! We take up the sword and face our battles anew each day.

So enough of that noise. I know what it is that makes Ideal Protein work so well for women like myself, over 40 with over 40 pounds to lose, and now it’s time to get back down to business and make it work for ME. So, as of tomorrow – February 3, 2016 – I am officially back on Ideal Protein full swing, and will be blogging about the experience between 3 and 4 times a week. I hope you will come back and visit with me, and tell me about your experience with this diet/dietary matrix.

The whole of week one must consist of the following nutritional matrix each day:

  • 100 grams of protein
  • <20 grams of carbs
  • <1000 calories

So that’s it. Time to start packing a lunch again. I look forward to sharing my pain and my victories with you once again. Oh, and by the way, the nearly sole culprit responsible for my current shameful state is SUGAR. That has not changed. So readers, if there is one thing among all the tasty things in the world that you give up, make it the white devil!Scale_2016


Back in the Saddle Again…..Micro Eating – It’s a thing…. — May 19, 2015

Back in the Saddle Again…..Micro Eating – It’s a thing….

Sometimes stuff is so flippin' simple
Sometimes stuff is so flippin’ simple

Well, I’ve been away for a while. Tired of on again, off again, gone again, fat again – I have been too disillusioned with myself to even add a post here. However, I have now been back on program for two weeks and am doing well.  But I had a helluva time getting started again.

What I have found this time around of getting back to eating small and well is that it’s too difficult to do all at once if you didn’t somehow “suffer” for it. What I mean by that is if you didn’t just run out and spend approx. $500 on joining an Ideal Protein or other diet plan, and you didn’t just run out and buy a $1200 treadmill, nor order a new spring wardrobe 3 sizes too small (we all know THAT never works – thus the number of brand new clothes with tags at the Goodwill when it’s clear that they didn’t come from overstock buys).  So I came up with a solution that worked for me and helped me get back in the swing, and thought perhaps it might work for some of my homies (that’s you, btw) as well.

I know I said in the title there that “Micro Eating” is a thing – but that’s kinduva lie. I didn’t read about “micro eating” anywhere, but rather watched how the busiest and thinnest of my friends ate. What I observed was that most of them didn’t have TIME to eat. Instead, they got their nutrition on the go, some did a better job than others but I sort of observed, asked questions and took a composite view of their habits. What I came up with is “micro eating”. Depravation is just too damn hard. That’s all there is to it. It works for a while until there’s any sort of ripple in your pond, and then it doesn’t work so well anymore. You know what I’m talking about. You’ll be rocking along on your diet plan like gang bustas…. three days in and things are going great. But then, suddenly, you have a spat with your esposo and you are into the cheesecake for a 1/4 round slice! After that, the day is blown and it’s all down hill from there. Am I right?

See? Sugar is the DEBBIL!
See? Sugar is the DEBBIL!

(Well, if not, you prolly should go find a fitness blog to read or something)  Well friends, you know you could always move to a deserted island, but if you were gonna go all Gilligan, chances are, you woulda ‘ready done it. And, to make matters worse, those of us who have the metabolism of a sloth and have to dig deep into the depravation chamber to lose even a single pound know how much these hateful stress triggers can completely gank (for those of you unfamiliar with the word “gank”, it is a video gaming term, born in the cavernous corridors of M0ORPGs, it means to be dog-piled by enemies and completely overwhelmed with zero chance of survival and forced rez outside the instance, thereby losing ALL your progress, and it fits like a GLOVE here). Yep….it seems when the big stress comes and you’re already starvacious because you are trying to be good, it is always a sabotage of our stalwart efforts. So…what to do, what to do? Well, here’s what I’m doing….I’m eating a tiny bit of something several times a day. Like 10. Breakfast consists of a 1/4 grapefruit, a 1/4 cup of cottage cheese and five walnut halves. You’d be surprised! Lunch consists of 2 scrambled eggs and one egg white, one slice of avocado, about an 1/8 of one and a half tomato. Yes.. yess….. So try micro eating. You still can’t eat junk, but you can snack your day away.

Good luck out there!

Day 5 and I’ve been such a good, good girl….time to talk about an ice cream substitute for the weekend. — June 29, 2012

Day 5 and I’ve been such a good, good girl….time to talk about an ice cream substitute for the weekend.

It’s been getting easier since day 3.  I am starting to get back into the habit of being very strict and careful, and that’s what it takes to succeed in the weight loss phase.  I actually made up a batch of cookies this morning and didn’t eat a single chocolate chip.  (though I did pound down a few walnuts)

Okay, I thought I would share something that one of my skinny friends told me about.  (I don’t often trust the skinny when they tell me about skinny treats – seems like it might be a trap cuz why would they need ’em…. remind me to revisit the post where I talked about needing to get a more comprehensive strategy for maintenance….)

Anyways, she said to take a cup of peanut butter, a banana and a pinch of salt….put it in the food processor and blend it up.  Then take it out and put it in the freezer for an hour…take it out and eat it like it was ice cream. So imma try that and report back to ya’ll.  I hope everyone is getting ready for a great weekend.  I know I am!  I’m not going to be back at work until NEXT THURSDAY!!!!  Woot!

Happy weekend everyone…..resist the carbs, an pound the protein!


Day One of Healthy Wage Challenge Using Ideal Protein Techniques — June 25, 2012

Day One of Healthy Wage Challenge Using Ideal Protein Techniques

Walkin’ like an Egyptian to my goal weight!

Well, it’s Day 1 of my Healthy Wage Challenge.  I spent the weekend fighting back the urge to eat as my period raged on, and I had to take a “Prednisone (steroid) burst” to try and get a psoriatic arthritis flare under control.  I’m hoping to not have too many more challenges until I can get at least a good couple of weeks under my belt behaving myself and returning to the “induction” stage of Ideal Protein for this new weight loss challenge. I’ve never had any diet work better than the Ideal Protein plan, and that’s because it’s a three-pronged approach:  Low Fat, low cal, and extremely low carb while retaining a high protein count for every day.  As you can see from the idiotic picture, I’m not gargantuan, but having gained back 25 pounds of the weight I fought so hard to lose has been demoralizing.  Hopefully, a cash prize at the end of the rainbow on this one will give me the incentive I need to get this weight off once and for all.  Of course, I’m going to have to develop a workable strategy for keeping it off.  Because gaining 25 pounds between last July and January of this year, is not exactly exhibiting a maintenance program that I would call “successful”.

So check out to see the challenges they have.  It’s pretty cool because it is really designed for people who work office jobs and sit around getting spread all the time because all they do is SIT.

Going over to see the boyfriend after work today and plant some plants and make dinner for him.  Wooo hoo!  Well, I guess it’s my turn since he spent the weekend at my place working on my yard…..

I’ll check in a few days from now and let you know how I’m doing getting back into induction.  In the meantime, let me hear from you about your weight loss struggles and challenges.  Or your maintenance struggles and challenges.  Whatever!  We’re all in this together.

The Iron Maiden, the Rack, the Belgian Waffle Iron — June 14, 2012

The Iron Maiden, the Rack, the Belgian Waffle Iron

What do all these things have in common?  Well they’re torture devices of course!  I’ve mentioned before that I am a gluten free person due to the psoriatic arthritis response to said glutey – and this has made it a bit easier to avoid some of the more insideous foods that love to squeak in there with all their lovely carbohydrates and put fat DIRECTLY on my ass.

Look at it....all innocent and shit....
It may look harmless, but let me assure you that, coupled with Gluten Free Bisquick, this think is a KILLER!

Howerver, I have joined another weight loss group. It was one that I got hipped to through my employer. There is a cash prize involved as well as a cash buy in. So “cash” being the operative word here, as I am SHORT on that particular commodity right about now. So….I have created a renewed interest for myself by joining up with a group of people who want to lose weight for hard cash. Not on the level with “The Biggest Loser” but still good. My particular round starts on June 22, and goes until sometime in September. I’m going to use this group and this challenge as a way to get off the last of my tonnage. I am now goaling at a 30 pound additional loss. Which means to get the additional 20 recalcetrant pounds off in addition to another 10 pounds just to make getting around a bit easier.

Does anyone want to start up with me on their weight loss goals on the 22nd? I’m sort of excited about this – I’ve been struggling with these last pounds, as you know, for at least 8 months now. I really want to be done with this and down to maintenance by the time summer is over.

That was about it. I just wanted to show you all the torture device that my well-meaning boyfriend, (of the “you CAN’T think it’s small…” fame) purchased for me. So I guess only he will be getting the waffles going forward. **sigh**

Since today is day 1 (Start #10,000) of my LAST WEIGHT LOSS CHALLENGE BEFORE REACHING THE NIRVANA OF MY DESIRED WEIGHT, I decided to ease my calorie count down and allow myself to have 1500 today. That’s too high for decent weight loss but will be better than yesterday with its 2 waffle, 2 gluten free banana nut muffin, 2 bowl of ice cream calo count. **sigh** It would be so cool if food didn’t taste so damn good.

Funny Things Your Idiot SO Says While You are Trying to Lose Weight….. — June 8, 2012

Funny Things Your Idiot SO Says While You are Trying to Lose Weight…..

Boyfriend's can be such dumbasses
lol! This is about right.

I thought it would be fun to hear from some of you on this topic.  My well-meaning and very sweet guy (no, not my husband….I attribute at least 10 of these recalcitrant and recurring pounds to the fact that we decided to divorce) told me to “get that big booty over here” to which I said, “You just told me I have a big ass” – his reply…..”Well you can’t think it’s small….” lol!  Wow….dumbass….

Okay sisters!  Whatcha got?  Imma keep WP open all day an approve comments as they come in. Hugs!

Dear Goddess Save Me from the EVIL Carbohydrates! —

Dear Goddess Save Me from the EVIL Carbohydrates!

See?  It just looks evil, doesn't it?Listen, I’ve about had it.  I have lost 6 of those 25 pounds and am back at needing to take off ONLY 19 more to be back where I was at the apex of my weight loss.  Hell….the way I feel right now, if I could just get those 19 off, I think I would be happy this time.  I got into trouble when I tried to go below that.  I think I’m going to have to educate myself even better when it comes to nutrition, so here is an article on Carbohydrates from the biology department at UC.  Alright….I’m trying to get used to the new dashboard on WordPress, so I made another lame post.  Anyway – Today’s menu has consisted of:  Carb Master yogurt (see previous post to understand how this is the ambrosia of being on ideal protein or any other low-carb/low-cal diet) – and a sausage pattie, egg white puck and slice of cheese, so I’m doing pretty good.

Now, mind you, my boyfriend is not helping matters here by purchasing a professional quality Belgian waffle maker because he felt bad for how crummy his iron was when I made breakfast for him, and FUCK YOU Bisquick for making a gluten free baking mix that makes delicious-ass waffles.  But I digress.  This is meant to be a helpful blog.

Muther-fucker.....I'm doomed
I’m doomed!

One thing I have learned is that the vitamins are ESSENTIAL to weight loss using this method of both calorie an carbohydrate deprivation.  They keep your body from thinking it’s in starvation mode, and make it possible to release the fat stores.  So don’t think that you are going to be able to get by without them.  You don’t have to continue to pay five prices for the Ideal Protein brand, but you do need to take those sorts of vitamins (equivalent) and in the WAY prescribed by the diet.  The multi in the morning, along with the potassium (again, in the a.m.) and then later in the evening, fish oils and Cal-Mag (Calcium/Magnesium).   And to this vitamin regimine, I have added a heavy shot of B12 in the form of Zipp Fizz.  This stuff is really good and comes very close to having the same effect I get when I go to the doctor and have a shot of B12 jetted directly into my bloodstream.  B12 is essential for energy and nerve health.  Trust me on this one, kiddies.  I carry this stuff around in my bag an use it instead of coffee when I feel like I am crashing late in the afternoon.  It’s very minimal in carbs and calos, so it fits with the plan.

Keep reading, ya’ll.  I went in today and tried to post all of your comments an I think WordPress just shot me the finger.

We will perservere!!!!!

Good Lord! How Many Times Do I Have to Run at this Finish Line!? — May 10, 2012

Good Lord! How Many Times Do I Have to Run at this Finish Line!?

Please god....I don't want my ass to spill over my bicycle seat....
25 Pounds or BUST!

Hello!  those of you who are patient and still subscribe to this cobweb covered blog.  I’ve been struggling with completing my weight loss goals I set back in October of 2010 for about 8 months now.  First I got off 75 pounds, then, over the past 8 months (basically from Halloween forward) I’ve been struggling to get the rest of it off, and have been yo-yoin’g dangerously.  Currently, I have gained back 21 pounds of the 75 I struggled so hard to lose and it makes me crazy.

Back at the first part of January, that was 25 pounds, then I lost 10 and it was 15, and over the past 2 months, I have gained back 8 of it, so we’re back to 21.  I don’t give a shit if the math is off.  I know what I weigh and the aggregate figure of what I have gained back is 21 hateful pounds.  And, since it took about 10 days to get this entry from draft to final (yes…I am EXTREMELY lame) it’s now back up to 25.  Fuck all!  25 pounds.  What a nightmare.

So, that’s the new goal. Get the 25 pounds that I’ve RE-GAINED off, so I can continue on to take off the last 15 pounds to put me to my original goal. All of the social things for which I was convincing myself it was okay to be bad (Wedding shower for friends weekend before last, Cinco de Mayo party last weekend) are done. There should be no excuse whatsover to not have 10 of those pounds off by the end of this month, and that’s just what I’m going to do.

I know how Sisyphus felt now — March 13, 2012

I know how Sisyphus felt now

You remember Sisyphus, right? He was the demigod (a mortal in the genetic woodpiles somewhere) who was condemned to roll an enormous rock up a huge hill, only to watch it roll back down again forcing him to repeat the exercise. Yep. That’s exactly how I feel trying to get my diet reigned in to the point that I can get on with my remaining weight loss. But it’s worth it to keep trying. I’ve noticed that as I have slackened on the discipline of an extremely low carb (under 40 when my will is strong), low cal diet that my joints have started hurting regularly again and I generally feel “blah’. So no more of that.

I’ve started making myself low carb smoothies in the mornings and putting safflower oil in post on why….