Anyone who says they followed this diet to the letter the first week is lying out of their asshole.
Oh no you dit'nt

Anyone who says that they followed this diet to the letter the first week is a LIAR.  It’s that simple.  My head is pounding and I am still starving here at day #5.  Breakfast from the space pouches this morning was about a 1/2 cup of something that purported to be “maple nut oatmeal”.  Yeah.  Right.  It was like maple nut glue, and lasted about as long as you would expect a 1/2 cup of glue to last.  In two hours, my head was bangin’ and I felt like if I didn’t get something to eat pretty soon, I was gonna have to kill someone.  I read all of the helpful hints that they put into my diet packet about drinking more water to help with the headaches, and let me just assure you that if I drink any more water, I will float away. 

Last night I had stir-fry, which I made up from scratch using fresh vegetables and organic chicken.  It was great, and hit the spot.  But oh how long the Green Mile is….. (The Green Mile being the time between dinner, which was quite late last night because we had to go and buy all the ingredients first – and the time I went to bed which was uncharacteristically early for a Friday night at midnight).  But I made it and I ate the little packet of “jello” stuff that I had made in advance for the occassion the night before.

Anyway, so I was extremely hungry two hours after the 1/2 cup of maple-nut glue this morning, so I came home and fixed my lunch ahead of schedule.  I had 7 ounces of white cod – totally tasted like styrafoam because you cannot season with anything but a teaspoon of olive oil and some dry herbs.  I suppose I could have used onion or leek or something if I’d had the strenth to cut it.  In addtion to that I had a bunch of lettuce with lemon juice on it.  If this diet, as prescribed, has 750 calories a day in it, I would be shocked.  Anyways, so 2 lousy hours after eating that, my stomach was once again gnawing, and I came in here to do my homework and found I had to read the same sentence over four times.  I said “SCREW IT!” and went an ate not one, but two hard boiled eggs.  Immediately I began to feel the headache subside and I felt a bit better.  Now I want you to know that the nutritionist that is supposed to be helping me, my “coach” told me that she would rather me not eat the yolks if I decided I was going to eat eggs.  And I HAD been doing that when I would get eggs in my salad on the work days, but not today.  I devoured them like a refugee, over the sink, greedy and starving. 

So here I am now, still hungry even after eating the eggs (but better, mind you) and knowing that we are going out and gaming tonight at the D&D store where I will watch my fellow-players snack on chips, soda and candy of various kinds.  It’s gonna be hard and I don’t know what I’m going to take with me.  Probably celery.  But I do think I’m going to go ahead and eat some chicken before we head out.  I’ve decided without prompting that this is simply too little food for me to function on – especially this first week.  Maybe by next week my stomach will be shrunken to the size of a golf-ball and this will get easier.  Here’s to hoping.  And, like I said in an earlier post, that $400 I laid-out to Osborne Chiropractic is doing the job of tethering me to my resolve.  I can’t afford to simply throw away $400. 

Wish me luck, ya’ll.  I’m gonna need it.  Weigh-in day is a mere two days away.  My friend, Susan Barragan, who followed the plan for two months said that will give me a big bag of incentive ot carry on.

My parting thought for the day?  I have come to the conclusion that basically, you are paying someone to starve you to death on this diet.  And not slowly either…quite quickly.  And if the “coach” doesn’t weigh her ass in here pretty quickly, I’m going to say that she isn’t worth what I’m going to be paying to keep buying space pouches!